Sunday, August 05, 2012

Tu B'Av. Women trying to attract men they may not know much about?? Is this true or an urban legend.

Just this week was T'Av

1-Picture from

   Anyway, there are many problems with this holiday. I wrote about it last year as well with one basic problem with the holiday celebrating that woman no longer have to marry within their tribe if their father had no sons to preserve their fathers name. That is something to celebrate?? The OU in their site made it out like the norm would be that a woman would have no brothers and therefore this was generally restrictive which I would think the norm was that a woman had a brother more times then not. Wouldn't you?? Click Here for my post from last year

  It seems like an urban legend to me. Marriage and the relationship between a man and a woman and true love and respect for each other is something God deeply cares about which is why so much of the bible has many laws and  the book starting with the first man and woman in Adam and Eve.

  However, should we expect a woman to just marry any man. The Tu'Bav celebration claims we should. Unmarried woman try to attract a man that they should marry them. I would hope not right away which is part of what makes this story hard to believe. On the woman's side it is nothing to celebrate that a woman would have to do this to get married and not know much about the man. In normal times a woman would hope to marry a man she knows something about. In really bad times a woman would not expect anything for a man but did not want to be unmarried as this was seen in the eyes of others as shameful. That isn't something to celebrate!! The worst case is mentioned in Issiah when many men of their own nation were killed. 4:1 And seven women will grasp one man on that day saying We will eat our own food and wear our own clothes just let us be called by your name and end our disgrace. Women willing to marry and not asking the man to support them in any way.

 It almost is celebrating an underclass. Of women who have no other way of meeting a man which doesn't speak well of us as a people that they couldn't help a poor woman get married and would want women to do this which in real terms how do they know men who are interested in them in this kind of event are good for them unless this is only an event just for first meeting.

  So for those reasons I really think this is more of a legend and if it did have to be done it isn't something to celebrate. All wearing white clothes doesn't change the meaning that women have no other way of meeting men and here they may expose themselves to men who themselves may not be good material.

  So while I do think marriage is important for all of us both men and women I would hope that not too many people would be reduced to this and if a woman was reduced to this I would think at least she would try to reach a man she knows something about.

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