Sunday, January 01, 2012

Need some advice here.

If anyone could give me some good advice here. You can email me privately. I had one relative from Israel who did email me. I have an older relative who at one point I was having some exchange but haven't in a while.

It is sort of my fault in that I told him I have some issues with Rabbis which I don't agree with them on everything at the moment and I sort of went on and on about it since he felt very strongly we should do what the Rabbis say.

I admit sometimes you have to subtle.

He did work as a bookkeeper in Israel and made Aliyah later in life with his children who also made alliyah. He now is 94. God bless him I wish I live that long. He is my Grandfathers younger brother who I never knew as my Grandmother died at only 62. I am likely going to take a trip to Israel at the end of April-Early May.

It could very well be he can't see well enough to use the computer. I don't know. His wife is I think about 10 years younger and I think it is both their emails and I already emailed saying I may come in January which at this point by the time one relative could have me it was too close to my busy season.

So should I try to email him again and if I do what should I bring up?  Or at this point there really not interested and accept that.


sabine said...

Maybe a phone call would help clear things up.

Don't try to read anyone's mind; it leads to hurt feelings and misunderstanding. It's vitally important to ask for the things you want.

He may say he isn't up to company, or maybe his wife worries about being able to cook and clean for a special guest. The fact that he answered you shows some interest.

Is there a hostel at which you could find lodging? That way you can visit all your relatives without obligation. Or, maybe there is a house exchange program you can try, or maybe someone at your synagogue has a friend your age in Israel who would enjoy having a house guest. I do hope you g

Analytical Adam said...

Thanks for your comments. Sadly synogagues are some times not so helpful to men. Where I live in Northern, NJ sad to say is one of the worst as they have tremendous suspicions about Jewish men. It is shocking but sadly true.

Not everyone is like this.

It would be expensive though to stay in a hotel.

Just to clarify your commment one relative did get back to me. This is a second relative that didn't. From my own experience sadly I do suspect it is because I sort of may have upset my Great Uncle which maybe I should have been a little more subtle in retrorespect. It is tough to make calls in Israel.

Sadly one of the reason I am 38 and single is because most of the so called religious community doesn't care much about men and only want men that fit certain narrow agenda's. If not you are just ignored.

There is a lot of abuse of power by Rabbis and their families. My own experiences in the last 10 years I see that. They are taught to put their own dogma before their people even if there is little biblical evidence for their position. Especially regarding Jewish men as there is nothing sexy about helping a Jewish man.

Jamie said...

This is what a female friend on Facebook Responded to this link to this post. Will respond to it. Wasn't able to post so I will post it.

I read your blog and I was gong to tell you not to argue with your elders about matters of faith, especially when they are really stuck in their ways. You have a similiar faith, go from there, don't argue the details. I had a relative who I loved who spoke in tongues, I don't believe in it, yet I never argued with her about it. I focused on the things we agreed. If you pay close attention, you can get your ideas across without directly contradicting your elder. Your personal relationship with God and your faith should be your number one concern, not winning a debate with someone where it will become a power struggle. Focus on the things you agree, encourage your uncle without directly contradicting him. Build on that. The New Testement, which you don't read because your are Jewish instucts people on that. Faith is the key, not winning an argument that really has nothing to do with what is really important. Of course Rabis don't know everything, neither do Preachers. Only God knows everything. But don't try telling that to an orthodox anyone. You can reach a person in subtle ways, without the power struggle.