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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

What would someone suggest to meet a good woman who is of childbearing age?

That is the question of the day. Don't think can go to a well and find woman that are watering their flock.

Is that too much to ask. I am 38 and I guess I look for a little younger. My oldest Great Uncle is 93 while his wife is 83. Maybe I should ask how they met. I certainly can deal with the outside world and people that at 28 even though I had a steady job at that time I was more vulnerable to a lost job as once was laid off at 29 I went 9 month without a job and had a few years of little work which is much less likely for me today.

Also I am much more humble now then I was then. I know saying how humble you are isn't exactly humble but I mean not thinking everything is as black and white as I once thought and being able to deal with different types of people recognizing this. 

So what would someone suggest. Any good websites that really is helpful. Any good places to go to try to meet people and start a conversation.

15 comments:

fschmidt said...

Women in feminist countries generally do not make good wives. You should look for a wife in a non-feminist country. Since I have been married for 20 years, I am not that familiar with how foreign dating works now. (Back then I had no choice but to travel abroad to look for a wife.) Some sites to consider are:

http://www.planet-love.com/
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/

Analytical Adam said...

Welcome to the blog fschmidt. Nice to have new comments. Non feminist country??? Where would that be. Let us face reality that for good or for bad feminism is part of most of western culture and to be fair part of Christianity and Judaism. It really is one of the odd things that one of the few things in totalitarian countries is that they don't tolerate this sort of porn and stuff like that which at the end of the day actually has something to do with women becoming feminists although they are blaming the wrong thing to be honest with you. Certainly feminism is out of control in Rabbinic Judaism which is a big problem and one of the reasons Jews are such a small people even when there isn't persecution of us.

fschmidt said...

Everything is a matter of degree. Some cultures are less feminist than others. In Christianity and Judaism, Anabaptists, Orthodox Jews, and Karaite Jews are fairly non-feminist. Most of Christianity and Reform and Conservative Judaism are hopelessly feminist. Feminism is an unnatural condition that requires government coercion to maintain, so those countries where the government is corrupt and dysfunctional are unable to fully enforce feminist laws. In such countries, one can find reasonable women.

Analytical Adam said...

Not sure I agree. It is "Orthodox" Rabbinic Judaism that again every precept in the bible created Maternal Lineage as the only issue that matters with no flexibility at all which any general gender difference has a little flexibility for some unusual or the result leading to bigger problems.

Karaite Judaism has supported equal inheritance laws which the bible clearly only allows a woman to inherit if there are no sons and in doing so they have an additional responsibility they are suppose to marry within their tribe.

Christianity excuses a woman who committed adultery and to be fair slanders the Jewish people as well as I really don't think at that time they were stoning women to death who were committing adultery and if they were the man would be stoned as well. They claim if a man even looks at a woman and has any lust it is adultery. Never mind if the woman is flirting and trying to get the man's attention. She is innocent. Only the man is guilty.

fschmidt said...

The Bible has no commandments regarding either inheritance or lineage that I know of. There may be some examples to support various positions, but these are not commandments, so as far as I am concerned there is no one clear right answer. Orthodox Judaism is mixed, with Jewishness determined by the mother, but tribe and family name by the father. Ancient Athens also determined national identity by the mother. I don't think this makes a culture feminist. Feminism is basically when women are completely spoiled and out of control. I judge this by personal experience, by visiting places and religious services. Having attended many different religious services to see what they are like, my personal impression is that Reform and Conservative Judaism are hopelessly feminist, but Orthodox and Karaite Judaism are not.

Christianity isn't one consistent view either. The "excusing adultery" section is in the least reliable Gospel and was probably added later. Jesus seems to have been a fairly decent Jew whose views where badly distorted after his death. Jesus and his disciples clearly weren't anti-Jewish. Jesus's comments don't excuse the woman in the least. If the man has committed adultery by looking at a woman with lust, then clearly the woman is guilty too because adultery is always a crime committed by 2 people. So the woman who dresses provocatively to cause the man to look with lust is also guilty of adultery by Jesus's criteria. Of course I disagree with Jesus about all this. I prefer the Jewish view that actions count, not thoughts. It seems that Jesus invented the idea of thought-crimes.

Analytical Adam said...

Have to disagree. The fact is maternal lineage promotes women to disrespect their husbands which is classic feminism where male leaders want women to disrespect all other men. Feminism was started by men. My own experience shows this. How can they be part of the Jewish people if they don't belong to any of the tribes. The fact is for a woman to tell her daughter to ignore the background of her father is wrong and it goes against the general idea of a woman being the "helpmate" of a man not the other way around which the other way around doesn't really work and only gives power to a few men on top as God created human nature the way it is.

fschmidt said...

I agree that feminism was started by men. I am reluctant to argue about maternal lineage since it just doesn't seem that important. What really matters is what you see with your own eyes. Have you attended an Orthodox Jewish synagogue? In my city, there is one where the rabbi is Chabad. The feeling in the synagogue is certainly not feminist. If you really are interest in the role of maternal lineage, I suggest considering the example of Ancient Athens which had maternal lineage but was clearly patriarchal.

If paternal lineage is important to you, the Karaites have this. I prefer the Karaites to the Orthodox for other reasons, but unfortunately they are a small group with no presence where I live.

Analytical Adam said...

I do think it is a bigger issue then what you think it is. Let us be clear here. It is not an excuse to marry someone outside your faith unless you feel there is no one within your faith that is fit to marry because the faith has become corrupted or you are in exile from your own people and your own people don't want to help you.

Analytical Adam said...

Regarding Chabad, and most "Orthodox" shuls if you scratch beneath the survive feminism is a big part of their idea's. Yes men can mumble prayers and learn irrelevant Gemara in an all male group.

But Chabad does support many of the feminist idea's and believes when the Messiah comes the roles will change which there is NOTHING WRONG with the woman's role as the helpmate to the man. God created men and women with different innate natures for a reason and women will be the helpmate of some man no matter what they think even if by dong so they derive little benefit from it.

fschmidt said...

I don't much like the expression "your faith" because faith is about belief, and religions like Judaism are more about action than belief. I grew up in a secular home, so I had no concept of "my people". I was just adrift in a hostile world and I found my wife in Mexico. After studying all the religions, I decided that Judaism is my favorite, and since I am ethnically Jewish, I have a free pass to get in. If you grew up with Judaism, you probably understand it better than I do. I would appreciate a more detailed explanation of how Chabad supports feminism.

Also, if not Judaism, then what? Islam? Anabaptist? Which religion do you consider to be the best (least bad) with regards to feminism?

Analytical Adam said...

So are both your parents Jewish if I may ask?

I agree with you on "faith" 100%. It just slipped out because that is how talk about religion but I agree. In fact the idea's in the five books of Moses should not just be about blindly believing it and this idea you should believe or go to hell is of course a way to coerce you to "believe" something that some deep thought would not cause you to believe.

Analytical Adam said...

I really don't know much about other religions to comment. I do think Orthodox Judaism may be more feminist then most religions. They are very liberal with the pill. I do consider Matriarchal lineage a ploy to pander to women since the bible clearly delineates family by who the father is and not the mother. The fact that Ancient Greece is the only example you can give me just proves my point of how absurd this concept is as it goes against the basic nature of a woman being the man's helpmate.

fschmidt said...

Yes both my parents are Jewish.

If you object to Orthodox Judaism, then what exactly is your solution?

I have visited and studied a lot of religions. Christianity is generally much more feminist than Orthodox Judaism. Islam is less feminist but Islam has other problems. In real life, one often has to pick the least bad option.

Sabine McGettigan said...

I would suggest that you attend your synagogue or meetings where like minded people gather. If the young woman is not there, it seems likely you will find friends who do know good women. Many people seem to be having good luck with online dating, too. I personally know two couples who have found successful relationships this way.

Analytical Adam said...

Thanks for commenting.

The synagogue sadly isn't much of an option because where I live the Rabbi basically only wants women to marry men that fit his agenda. If synagogues were helpful I would likely be married. Online dating and Facebook is where I am at now and at this point I do need God's help in being 38 and I do try to look at the bigger picture. Feminism has made the USA in some ways like China (which has a shortage of women) since some women really have no desire to get married (or just a man but not want the type of male-female relation that is biblical which God understands human nature better then we do) and the government encourages them to get welfare instead and this leads to a shortage of women who really are sincerely interested in getting married.