Monday, October 03, 2011

Paternal vs. Maternal Lineage in the torah in general it goes by the father (part 4) Lack of respect to other cultures

Anyway I thought I would get back to this topic. Here are my first 3 discussions on this topic.

My biggest issue is the lack of respect we are showing to the father who if the mother marries willingly which is what I am talking about here and is the case in most situations.

We are saying that when a woman marries someone not from our group the woman can just teach the child that his culture and his land and means nothing. What would others think the reason is since this isn't the case when a woman marries a Jewish man. They would think well it is because they aren't Jewish then you could use the man as just a sperm donor basically. This can't bring any respect to us as a people to have this difference when a woman willingly marries a man from another culture for whatever the reason is and for whatever reason the man has that he decides to marry someone not from his culture as maybe at least it seems like this person sadly was more of a proper woman and helpmate  then from his own culture and then to tell the kids according to the Rabbis since the father isn't Jewish this basic law is null and void is just an outrage.


SouthernBelle Rivky said...

I would agree that it isn't respectful to own or other cultures to marry out. This applies to either gender. I don't think either men or women ought to get a free pass to marry out because they think another culture is more interesting, or the people are more physically attractive to them or otherwise considered better as helpmates as you put it.

Judaism already encompasses a wide range of people and is not just one monolithic culture (well maybe to NY'ers). Israelis and American Jews are often considered different culturally. If a person is attracted to something different, it is fine, but with a some searching, they ought to try to find whatever they like within Jewish people. A guy could like, for whatever reason, say Asian or Nordic women which is very different than typical. Or the best ones of them all are the sweet Southern flavored ones..hehehe. Can't blame a guy for having such excellent tastes there.

But even with this specific narrow 'like' a person can find that a few of those people of opposite gender happen to be Jewish too. So they might either be or descendant from converts, but that is way better than marrying out, since it's building a Jewish home. Or what I see a lot of nowadays, is not marrying at all, with the hope the perfect person in that perfect package will show up and make everything right. Meanwhile they are just getting older and more lonely because they don't want to go against their parents' thinking or the mainstream thought. I don't think honoring parents extends to the point someone has to hold out to marry what their family thinks is acceptable, and not go with their own heart.

It is a big peeve of mine that there is such a narrow focus and are more worried about what their neighbors or 3rd cousins might gossip over than their own well being (staying single a long time isn't good for anyone). If what's in one's own community isn't interested or compatible with someone with for whatever reason, then think outside the box, but don't throw away the box and go find a gentile. I know you have gotten really mad at me when I've brought this up before, but it really ticks me off.

Interestingly, I was reading the Second Book of Jewish Why at my friend's house (so I don't have it in front of me), there is a stringent opinion that a child from a Jewish mother and non Jewish father is not to be treated the same. I.e. Not to celebrate bar mitzvah publically or get called to Torah and they shouldn't get to go to Hebrew school. Thos were specific examples given. This view generally isn't followed nowadays though, I don't know if this was praticed previously.

Analytical Adam said...

Not all cases that is the reason for intermarrying (that another culture was more interesting) and I was specifically talking about when Jewish women marry nonjews that the so called Orthodox Rabbis tell them that the father doesn't matter. It is the type of rule that suggests we view non-jewish men as dogs and Jewish women can just use them. Sad to say I do see women who intermarried or are the children of this who love the Rabbis and I don't think that would lead anyone to respect us and think our religion is a moral religion.