Sunday, July 17, 2011

My fathers family. The good and the bad.

My father did call me on Thursday to wish me a happy birthday as I had thought he was upset and that was why he didn't call me but said his numbers were deleted and my cell phone number is fairly recent so I can accept that as it seemed like he was happy to call me.

It got me thinking about my fathers family which sadly other then my father I have almost no relationships with any one on my fathers side of the family. Which for Rabbinic Judaism today that is what they promote. To hate your father and his family as only the mother matters and relatives behave this way as well. In some ways people tell me I resemble my mother more but so what. Therefore I am the enemy.

But these are my thoughts on my fathers family which for good or for bad I am suppose to continue the line and hopefully some woman will help me do that. My Grandfather grew up in Hungary and moved here during the socialist Hungarian revolution in the late 1950's. My father came here and was only 13. But when they lived in Hungary my Grandfather bribed the school my parents went too so they wouldn't have to go to school on Saturday as they were required to do this. Which in that regard my family all keep the Shabbath.

On the negative side though my family will put ritual behavior above morality and in addition they mostly support to show women love they have to hurt other men and always take the woman side regardless of what she does. I do get the sense that my Grandfather did not marry a woman of virtue which is a shortcoming of him as well. She had 4 children the oldest a girl and after that three boys and the oldest girl is especially very much with this idea of getting pleasure out of hurting men and men who do this kind of thing of hurting men who are easy targets. And her oldest also a girl also gets pleasure out of harshness towards men. The worst thing is she is now very ill with advanced Parkinson (my Grandmother) and can't do anything and my Aunt calls me and acts like she is doing an honor to visit her in this state with no sense of this is horrible in any sense. No person should feel proud of visiting their father or mother when completely helpless. The whole attitude has led me to believe that she didn't promote morals in her children and my Grandfather didn't look for the right qualities in a woman even though in regards to keeping Shabbos in that area he was very careful. That is all I have to honestly say in looking at this as hopefully I can make some amends for the sins of my family which I myself may be punished to some degree as it does say there is punishment up to the 4th generation which I wonder if that includes all sides of your family or just your fathers side since you have to preserve his name.


SouthernBelle Rivky said...

In terms of the whole to the 4th generation business. Remember we had a big discussion on it where I was being overly dramatic (for effect...hehehe and it worked) over it? If I remember correctly you very thoughtfully pointed out that good deeds also get factored in for more generations.

So be good and negative if there is, would get minimized or overruled. I think that was along the lines you wrote, but maybe I am mixing it up.

Analytical Adam said...

Well I don't know if good deeds mean you don't face consequences for your bad deeds or you receiving the reward for another generations good deeds.

What exactly this means may just be sadly a fact of life that the maximum generation alive at one time if someone lives to 120 is maybe 5 generations and if that generation is still alive then you are affected by it.

With the sin of the spies the younger generation wasn't allowed in until the parents died so they were punished for their parents sins but it would be wrong to let them leave their flawed parents.

The other aspect is that we should want to reverse bad traits of our family that we know about and not continue in a bad path. I would think that would minimize the punishment since we recognize our parents who we came from did some things that were not good and we are not continuing on that path.

This is food for thought on this issue.