Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Should young Jewish boys be dressed in a way to show off Jewish identiy.

To be honest I am offended. I was at Barnes & Nobles Monday and a woman who was dressed in a hat had her son wearing a very attention grabbing skullcap in a couple of colors and I really was offended as if you want to show your identity fine but don't have your 7- year old dress in a way for your own identity. It just doesn't seem right to me. It is like you want you 7 year son to stand for an adult woman and it is wrong. That is what I think. Does anyone agree? Disagree? I really was offended and started saying things like we put middle age women before children which I think is very inappropriate.

 On this note. It is very interesting. The torah says in this area I am discussing in recent posts. (Leviticus 18:21.) Do not allow any of your offspring to Molech. Yet no where does it say don't give your wife to Molech. It seems that sacrificing your own child did exist and sadly still does exist in many ways expressed in different ways in different cultures.

The passage before does discuss women but basically not to have relations with your neighbors wife as that is a bigger issue involving woman rather then wanting to do what this passage is saying you would do a child and just sacrifice them. Although as I have said in past posts the reason God views a man having relations with another man's wife is so serious is if she does get pregnant it is bad for the child for many reasons including ruining the trust between a husband and wife that a man is helping his during a pregnancy and then has to support a kid that isn't his which he thought it was at first.


SouthernBelle Rivky said...

This is a NY'er thing. People outside of New York (and where ever NY'ers hang out like South Florida) don't really wear kippot except at Jewish events. Unless they are the town rabbi or Chabad kids, but not normal people. A few guys will wear hats, like the dressy work kind or baseball cap, but that's not a hard rule either.

SouthernBelle Rivky said...

Oh, I'm sort of confused here. You grew up in NY and went to day school, didn't you wear one as a kid???? I'm guessing you obviously didn't care for it.

It sort of personal preference really for boy/man or hair covering for married woman I think. If the little kid likes wearing loud color kippah, no harm in it. Maybe all his male relatives wear kippot and he wants to fit in like a big boy and doesn't want to wear boring black. I wouldn't want boring black either, but that is me. My kid could wear whatever (well, almost whatever) he felt like if he wanted. Exception being obviously should wear at Jewish functions because that's proper (Mr. Adam probably agrees here, right?), but who cares outside of that. Much bigger fish to fry than external issues.

Oh I have yet another big question for Mr. Adam. The hair covering question for women is so super duper important around here. It really annoys me. Do you think guys should get to dictate what women wear??? And why are guys oogling married women's heads so much to see if they are wearing a wig. I mean that's kind of rude.

Analytical Adam said...

Actually to be fair the Kippa wasn't that loud it was just the woman was dressed in a way that she her religious identity wasn't so obvious.

Growing up I did wear a Kippa all the time and thought nothing of it but now that I am older I do think it is troubling for us to put 7 year old boys that their identity is so obvious when I see women who don't want their identity to be obvious.

In fact Judaism is the only religion where they make boys who are just children go around with their identity so obvious and to be honest it really shows a lack of concern for our boys as there are bad people out there (even in an overall decent society) and they can't protect themselves. What does an 8 year old boy know. I think 8 year old girls are taught that there are some bad people out there and there is concern for them.

In fact growing up my mother acting that I as a 7 year old boy was some sort of oppressor of women because of her issues with my father.

Analytical Adam said...

Regarding head coverings for women I think overall a woman should dress in a appropriate way but don't see how head coverings (and especially wigs) really serve any purpose other then identity politics although this case at the bookstore this woman was wearing some kind of hat and I do notice some women when they are not in a Jewish store they dress in a way you wouldn't there religion by looking at them.

In fact there is nothing biblical about it of hair covering(the issue with Sotah is that they desheveled the hair not uncover it). The wigs look better then their hair so it is really is stupid.

If you want me to be honest I think women are dressing by what the male Rabbi wants which are just silly rules that at the end of the day don't even lead to real appropriate dress anyway.

I do think modesty is better served by what a husband thinks and what the people around you think as well as what is appropriate as certainly a husband wouldn't want his wife to dress an overly provocative way and really does a Rabbi really care. In fact the Rabbi's always make rule to pander to the women. In fact they sadly don't want women to listen to their husbands because they are worried that they may not agree with them all the time.

Regarding men checking wigs where I live I can't comment as I don't shop in the Jewish stores because people are so obnoxious that I am worried I will get upset and then I will get into trouble and sometimes shop in some other Jewish places in a different area that the community is smaller and people and the owners are normal people.

Analytical Adam said...

So this is a NY phenomena in your opinion. That is interesting. I was listening to Dennis Prager for a few minutes. I am not so crazy about him but he had a caller that said they became religious from a certain event and he said where. And she said in Atlanta and he said "I didn't think it was NY".

SouthernBelle Rivky said...

Oh you would like Atlanta. And they'd totally love you too! :)

Actually bulk of the orthodox are in the suburbs. This comes shocking to NY'ers but there's a good chunk of people out of town that go to Orthodox shuls but aren't Orthodox in practice. But they are genuinely nice people. People are cool with that.

A lot of those that are frum are BT/converts in the community, like a lot more than normal (mostly non-aish/non-chabad types). But Atlanta has all the laid back feel of South, but big city Atlanta is there. Atlanta is one of the few Southern communities big enough for an orthodox day school, but it is co-ed unless it changed recently. You can get good selection of kosher food and some restaurants which isn't too common in the South except for places like South Florida and Memphis (both being where NY'ers go).

Nice weather, so less cranky people. Or if you like smaller, I think Savannah is even better, but you are stuck with only donuts and ice cream for take-out.

Analytical Adam said...

Thanks for sharing. That is interesting to know. I do have a cousin that lives in Memphis, TN now. I know they have one huge shul there.

I know. I'm not too happy with the brainwashing of Chabad/Aish. I have written about Aish but not Chabad which over time I see that they are very good at public relations but some of the things they do are very bad.

Atlanta has one of the worst traffic problems from what I understand. It is a spread out city unlike NY I think. I have never been there.

I would hope people would like me but at this point I don't know. Maybe some go and they don't agree with everything the Rabbi says and they can handle it but here in NY/NJ even going to the so called laid back shuls I have found similar problems and a similar attitude and at first they seem nice but the Rabbinic politics start working against me as men are always bad in any difficult situation that involves women to some degree although not exclusively.