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Sunday, December 23, 2007

The founder of Aish and his wife are separated but pretend they are happily married.

Hat tip FailedMessiah.

The founder of Aish and his wife weren't speaking to each other but pretend they are happily married.

(UPDATE 5/11/11. Just heard from someone who emailed me telling me that during years Rabbi Weinberg was very ill during the end of his life his wife was there for him.This however doesn't disprove that when he was healthy they weren't speaking to each other and living complete separate lives in adjacent apartments) 

Although they are not officially divorced but don’t like each other and have separate lives for years now.

Here is the link from Failed Messiah. My main focus here is on the marriage issue and the issue with money I am not commenting here other then to say if two people don’t get along yet they want to “unofficially” stay married because it will look bad for the organization or the Rabbi even though they don’t like each other it costs a lot of money to have two homes and two of everything and it would lead to being more money hungry since you need more money then two people who deal with their issues.

Is this relevant the issue with the founders being separated and not speaking to each other although not “divorced”? I think it is. If Aish was honest about it would be one thing but they aren’t and try to hide behind religion to claim that they are happily married. . Most of the women are not aware of it until they are in this EYAHT (see comments below) program to which they realize they were had. The people who work at Aish know about this deception and I think it is terrible. Aish has always engaged in both neglect and ignoring most men (unless you are very wealthy) and also men bashing and therefore any decent women should be suspicious because to bait your own men suggests something isn’t right and it is against the torah. The only compassion I have is some of the women are very young and have limited life experience although I have somewhat less compassion for some of the relatively older women because they should know better although maybe they think because iti is so dominant in Orthodoxy to bash men that they feel they have no choice although again some organizations while not perfect are better in this regard.

Aish does have some good points. ON issues involving the Jewish/Palestinian issue involving the Jewish Bible’s affect on America’s founding in those area’s they have good articles. Yet when it comes to articles on dating and marriage their articles are terrible and extremely insensitive. Chabad are far more sensitive in this area and of course the Rebbe and his wife were married and didn’t have the issue Aish does. I think the fact that they hide this issue of the founder’s wife not on good terms with her husband and keeping hush, hush on this affects other married people who work in the organization that you could just talk the talk but not walk the walk which of course leads to unrealistic advice and insensitive advice regarding dating and marriage and divorce.

Aish had an article about 10 problems in dating and #3 was specifically to blame the men that they don’t understand women (this may be projections of the Rabbi’s who don’t understand) but anyway it was one sided (women don’t understand men sometimes) and many complained including me. I get a letter from Rabbi Shraga Simmons saying the torah says divorce is the man’s fault because he has less Binah. That is true but so what. Men have more Daat. There are always two sides to an issue and I was very hurt and upset by this. Now though seeing the founder has his own problems and hides it is bad because they project their problems to other men and bait Jewish men to hide their own problems.

So what do people think. Do you think it is appropriate for Rabbi Weinberg and his wife to hide the fact they are separated and don’t live together and don’t talk to each other and hide behind modesty when women who go to Israel find out they can’t eat with the Weinbergs.

Here is a letter from a women from the Aish program.


As a former EYAHT student....

When I went to Eyaht, the Weinbergs were pretending to live in 1 apartment. Eyaht girls are in the apartment daily basically cleaning, cooking, etc but under the guise that we were learing to be Jewish women. We were also privy to the “workings” of the Weinbergs home. Eyaht girls were never invited for Shabbat, despite cooking the majority of the meals. We were told that the Weinbergs only have family for Shabbat, no guest. Half of the apartment was off limits, supposedly because of sniyut. Rabbi Weinberg was never around and most of the women assumed that he was busy studying Torah and that they lived a very sniyut life.

When I found out that the Weinbergs were separated, I called an Aish Rebbetzin to ensure it was not Leshon Hara. This woman confirmed the information but did not understand why I needed to know the truth. She told me that they were not informing anyone because they did not want to hinder the shiddach opportunities for their 70+ grandchildren. The Weinberg’s supposedly have been separated for years. She also told me some additional information, not positive things, about Eyaht, which why in her words, “Aish does not encourage women to go Eyaht.” I was stunned. My friends and I were never discouraged from going to Eyaht or taking things “with a grain of salt,” while we were there.

Many of the women who go to Eyaht do so for the dream of having a wonderful HAPPY marriage. The Torah world seemed like the perfect solution for the divorce crisis in the secular world. R. Weinberg dishes out HER thoughts on marriage and how to have a proper Jewish home. We all think she is living the perfect frum life with her “talmid chacham” husband; the whole concept is romanticized. I am positive that the vast majority of Eyaht girls do not know about the Weinbergs. It would probably crush them to know that their life was dictated by a woman who is living a lie herself. No one likes to feel duped, especially when you have changed your life 180.

Here is one other comment which is on failed messiah. Noach Weinberg and his wife have been separated for years. They do not live together. They do not like each other. They cover up this situation because publicity would hurt Aish and EYHAT. (It is the use of DECEPTION, not the split itself, that is the problem.

27 comments:

S said...

in my opinion, men and women both don't understand each other and need to work on it through communication

malka said...

It is upsetting when people we respect and look up to, mess up. It throws off our view and is very discouraging. This shows that even those we look up are only human and need to improve, like the rest of us.

on another note, I found a good article on
What men really want
Appreciation,Respect and Love

analytical adam said...

Well Malka at best Aish will once a while have a generic article with no details and. However, they don't practice what they preach. Actions speak louder then words. Guys have complained and they ignore it and/or write nasty notes to them. That isn't RESPECT. They have never helped men in EVEN ONE AREA. But now however I have a bigger understanding as to why they do this and that is they hide the fact that the founder and his wife are very unhappy with each other and don't speak to each other.
But again is AISH QUALIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE?? You get advice from people who have been happily year for 30,40 years and can deal with the up's and down's that exist in any marriage and understand what QUALITIES to you look for in a mate. Not two people that can't deal with each other and lie about it.

analytical adam said...

Sorry about the typo the comment in the second paragraph should say happily married for 30,40 years.

Anonymous said...

I spent the past two years at EYAHT. The truth is that cooking/cleaning at the Rebbetzin's house is an option offered to help girls make money and learn skills. We are paid about ten dollars an hour, and I myself wouldn't have known how to cook or put a house together without this experience. As for their marriage status, that's their personal business. The classes at EYHAT on marriage are given by other teachers, who are clearly happily married. I think this "issue" is being blown way out or proporion, regardless of it being true or not.

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of women out there who never worked as servants in a rabbi's house or took a course on cooking or "putting a house together" who did just fine in their marriages.

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Anonymous said...

Almost everything you write is a typo. Learn how to use your apostrophes correctly. I am a woman and I know how!!!

Analytical Adam said...

Well you are right. My writing skills are not perfect and you likely have been writing skills then me.

However, if you feel this way that I can't write and everything is a typo why are you even bothering to read it. I know I am a stupid man. So don't read it because my posts don't have perfect grammar and I am not a woman. Why bother reading something by a stupid man. I am sure women never ever make typo's even if their grammar is more perfect then mine is. Only stupid men do. So please go on to a blog written by a woman.

Anonymous said...

It's "typos" not "typo's"- and my comment was directed at the misogynistic attitude that you have, which was just reinforced by your reply. Good luck finding a wife-anyone who could put up with your ideals will be the perfect submissive woman with no ideas or opinions of her own!

Analytical Adam said...

Uh-Huh. Respect is a two way street. It sounds like you have a problem with misandry . From the way you wrote your comment is seems you feel that men should just bow down to you because you were born a woman. Being born a woman was how G-d created you. All of us have to earn respect. I don't expect to respect me because I was born a man. You shouldn't either. I do respect women that use the fact that G-d created them a woman to do what G-d expected them to do with how G-d created them. As a man myself I understand a person is not going to just respect me because I was born a man.

There are certain advantages to being born a woman. They are certain disadvantages. I admit that women tend to better at writing then men are. However tend to be better analytically then women are. As I said if you feel my writing skills are lousy (and I could use a tip or two) and can only focus on that and not on the idea's I am writing then don't read it.

I think you believe that in every area women are as good or better then men and that I think is misandry. I understand in our society there is a double standard when it comes to women that think men have no skills and women are better at everything. Sorry I don't believe either gender is better then the other but each gender has different area's they a. have more control in and b. area's they are naturally better at. Whatever talents we have we should use them rather then expect people to bow down to us because G-d created us with certain talents or abilities.

Furthermore, the fact you just make these accusation and don't even talk about the topic I am raising here in this topic shows you don't really respect men or this blog. If you disagree with what I wrote please discuss that. Not just call me names on any topic I wrote about which has nothing to do with the subject matter of this thread. Respect is a two way street and to just do what are you doing (why don't you go to one of the topics I wrote and explain why you disagree or why you consider it misogyny) just randomly going to a topic I wrote about and calling me a misogynist doesn't show you think much of men as name calling is very easy and just thing about how you would feel is someone did this to you on things you wrote about.

Anonymous said...

Nope, sorry, you are wrong. I have been happily married for many years. My husband and I have mutual respect for one another. I certainly don't hate men. I just can't stand when men think that they are better than women just because they are men. I also don't approve of the man as the head of the household idea. It's archaic. I am a well educated woman, with a master's degree that I earned with the highest honors. Just because I am a woman does not mean that the only thing that I have to contribute to society is a million children and a clean house. I have brains and ambition, and I don't plan on wasting that as a housewife. It seems to me that you feel that women are only useful as a wife and mother, and it comes through in your writing and also comments I have seen you leave on another blog (which also supports the idea of women belonging only in a role as a housewife/mother.)
So don't tell me that I disrespect men, as I have many in my life that treat women with mutual respect and equality and I think the world of them. I am very proud of my extremely successful marriage, and many of my friends comment on this, and ask for advice so that they can obtain the same amount of happiness in their lives. In my opinion, a marriage in which the man feels superior to the woman and doesn't treat her equally would never work. Furthermore, I feel sorry for women who surpress themselves and feel the need to be subservient to a man. But mostly I feel women who worship men who treat them poorly and disrespectfully are dumb (and I know a few)!

Analytical Adam said...

So again. The idea in the bible that the man is the head of the household you don't like.

Having said this you seem to claim you are intelligent because you have a "Master's Degree." Who created most of the college system? I think it is mostly men.

If you think you're intelligence comes from having a degree in a subject that was likely created mostly by men then I don't think you are very intelligent.

I have a Bachelor's degree and a CPA but the reality is I have much knowledge that has nothing to do with my degree's and to be honest with even in accounting work experience and common sense count for a lot.

Also, did you know about 100 years ago most people of both genders didn't go to college. So if you assuming intelligence is studying for a test and passing it I think you have a very narrow view of what intelligence is. You just worhsip the men in college.

What does this have to do with this topic anyway though.

I am not going to continue to publish your comments because they have nothing to do with the topic at hand. That clearly shows you don't really respect me and I am a man.

Analytical Adam said...

And I am only hearing your side of the story. You may be very happy with your husband. He may not be very happy and is afraid of you. But again this has nothing to do with the topic at hand and if you truly respected me you would discuss the topic at hand here.

Anonymous said...

I will apologize for posting the comments under a different topic, I didn't realize I had done that instead of the one I had originally intended. But your entire blog has the same theme, so I hardly think it makes a big difference.
Suprise, I have a Bachelor's in Accounting in addition to my Master's Degree. If you belive MY intelligence is just studying for tests and passing them, well then so is yours. Would you say the same thing to a man who made the same comments? Are you saying my education doesn't really matter because I am a woman and men run academics anyway? Why is it then that you have a terrible grasp on grammar? I guess you were taught grammar by women, so you can blame them for your ignorance? You have no idea of my intelligence, I have been an honor student my entire life. I guess I owe that to men, and to think I didn't even know it! Thanks for enlightening me (yeah right). "I worship men in college" what in the world does that mean? You must just sit around and create fantasies, because nothing you have said back to me makes much sense or logically responds to what I have said. Of course I don't respect you, I don't KNOW you. All I know is that you jump to illogical conclusions. My husband of many years is AFRAID of me? Where in the world do you get that idea? Because I speak my mind, and you don't think women should be allowed to? He is not afraid of me as he is a strong man that is not threatened by an educated, intelligent, strong woman who believes women shouldn't sit back and be meek little baby makers. WHAT do YOU know about marriage? You can't find a wife- I wonder why??? If I were to make up conclusions (like you do) I'd say that women are put off by your attitude and frightened by your crazy, outdated ideals. You have said that the women you dated were shallow and clueless, why don't you take a look in the mirror-you are the clueless one. To be your age and not be married, when there are plenty of single women, it's just plain to see that they probably think you are a joke! So don't tell me about my marriage, my husband laughed at your comments, and not out of fear from me (too funny!). Don't publish my comments, see if I care-who really reads this blog anyway? You have like 3 comments total, mostly spam. I don't need to waste my time here as I have a wonderful husband that I love to spend time with! Maybe one day you'll have a spouse too and won't need to blog! Good luck with that! I took the time to read your blog as I see it as pure entertainment as I cannot believe people like you actually exist. In fact, if this blog were a total joke, I'd be more likely to believe it! It's been fun to read your insidious replies! Helpful tip: try spell and grammar check, you might attract new readers!

RonBonBoo said...

1st i think that rabbi and rebbetzin weinbergs relationship isnt any off our business, its loshon hora to talk about it...
2nd how amazing is it to have a mission something to feel so passionate to live for and be successfull at be on the level with hashem to put their happiness on the line!!!

if u ask me i am more inspired than turned off...

and as far as all the people who think the school is to strict, to structured, do silly things like going in the rebbetzins home and helping out... its called CHESED and if that isnt for u then consider another school, but that doesnt mean u need to bash this 1...

again alot of loshon hora was said on here, and what was the point of it?

Analytical Adam said...

You should read Numbers 12 to understand what real Loshon Hara is so clearly if a Rabbi is lying and misrepresenting themselves they deserve criticism for this. Clearly you don't know anything about Judaism and the torah. We crticize Moses for his sin in the torah. SO if someone does something wrong they deserrve criticism for it.

You're blog you claim your father abused you. Is that what the Rabbi's of Aish taught you. To hate your father. Is that the kind of torah you are learning. To hate your father.

RonBonBoo said...

have u ever been raped? dont judge me you have no idea what it is like to live with!!!!!!!!!!!

i never went to eyaht infact i was rejected, they didnt tell me anything about my father...

a man who is about to spend the rest of his miserable life in jail for what he did, bc there is DNA and witnesses.....


u dont get to judge me for that!!!!!!!!!!

anyway to finish i have Yirat Shamayim- Bling faith, fear and love for Hashem... and so it doesnt matter what they did right or wrong talking about someone is called gossip and is a form of LOSHON HORA its black and white and very simple...

Analytical Adam said...

YOu are talking about your father. That isn't Lashon Hara since you are talking about somebody else. Really you have some very inconsistant idea's.

Regardless people have had terrible things happen to them and that doesn't them the right to have a chip on your shoulder like you do and think we can't make judgements. YOu seem to be quick to judge me. So what is the goose is good for the gander.

RonBonBoo said...

just like every other jewish person i am constantly trying to better my self and yes i make mistakes, i am human after all...

i just have 1 last thing to say. when i was looking into seminaries they way i choose were to apply and then once accepted where to go it i try to think of who i want to be when my time there is finished and what school do i believe will get me there the best way.

originally i thought very highly of eyaht. i like the idea that the women are taught how to run a home, bc i have no idea how to! i love the idea that they arent allowed to date- from experience it is a big distraction and not worth the time if not ready...

but Hashem had other plans for me. i am going to She'arim in the fall...

Tamara Jacobs said...

I almost went to Eyaht until one day I attended one of her classes. There were probably about 10 of us sitting around a table with Rebbetzin Weinberg at the head. Anyway, at some point, a girl sitting on the Rebbetzin's right side asked a perfectly innocent question and Rebbetzin Weinberg replied in an annoying tone saying something like, "Let's not get into that." This was back in December 1997, so I can't remember what the girl asked. However, before the girl could say anything else, Rebbetzin Weinberg rudely cut her off. The poor girl was left studdering and embarrassed. It did not leave me with a good feeling and instead I went to Shearim. And I'm glad I did!

Anyone who values their indivuality and is not interested in becoming a mindless robot should steer clear of this seminary.

Tamara Jacobs said...

I almost went to Eyaht myself, and I too went to Shearim. I found all the teachers very warm, accepting and non-judgemental. They really helped nurture me through a very difficult period in my life. What I remember about them is that they accepted me the way I was, no questions asked. I remember all the Rebbetzins there fondly!

Tamara Jacobs said...

A wise choice :) All the Rebbetzins at Shearim are wonderful and they will have you for Shabbos if you want to be with them :)